Your concerns are valid. It’s inappropriate for your husband to be engaged in any type of “special” relationship outside of the marriage. It is simply not acceptable.
While he may not be having a sexual affair, he seems to be having an emotional affair. Typically, emotional affairs are more threatening to relationships than sexual affairs. Sexual relationships tend to be shallow and unemotional whereas emotional relationships are characteristically deep and intimate.
His relationship with his coworker is not just a harmless “special bond.” Emotional affairs often lead to divorce.
This matter should be addressed in marriage counseling. Counseling could help save your marriage.
Ultimately, in order for your marriage to survive, he will have to end his relationship with his coworker.
If he is unwilling to participate in counseling or end his relationship with his coworker, then you should began individual counseling. A therapist can help you to navigate the relationship with your husband and provide guidance and emotional support. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle