I’m sorry that life has been so difficult for you so far, and I know it sounds cliché, but please don’t give up hope — because your life is only beginning. You can’t help what you have been exposed to so far, but you will soon be an adult and fully in control of your own life. I’m assuming that you are in therapy or on medication since you mentioned being diagnosed with depression and anxiety. If for some reason you are not currently seeing a therapist, please do so. With all that you’ve been through, you need some help navigating the next few years. You also need to focus on healthy ways of coping. You’ve been hurt enough, why hurt yourself even more with the cutting, starving and substance use?
I think it’s great that you are working but it is NOT ok to let adult men touch you at work. It might be time to find a new job and start fresh. Since life has been so negative, you also need to try hard to create the opposite and you do this by putting yourself in positive situations and by surrounding yourself with positive people. Some examples might be the local Alateen program or a sports league, or you could volunteer at an animal shelter, tutor elementary school children or find another agency of interest to you. It can be very healing to give to others in need. Many times, we get more than we give.
Finally, it is not ok for either of your parents to abuse you emotionally, physically or sexually (or anyone else for that matter). If it happens again, or if you don’t feel safe, please talk to an adult who can help. You can speak with your therapist, a teacher or school counselor or you can call your local child protection agency directly.
It really does get better than this. Please give yourself a chance to find out.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts