Please stop torturing yourself. You did far more than can be expected and, actually, far more than you should have done. No one can do the work for an addict that he needs to do for himself. You can love him. You can offer some emotional support but you can’t work harder on the issue than he does. It never works out.
I’m sure there must be a core of goodness in him for you to try so hard. But this is his journey to take, not yours. He needs to “bottom.” That means, he needs to see for himself that he is losing everything that really matters due to the drugs. For you to continue to hold his hand prevents that from happening. After giving so much, the kindest thing you could do, really, was to stop.
Here’s the link to Al-Anon in Brazil: http://www.al-anon.org.br/. Al-Anon is an organization for people who love an addict. They offer support and practical ideas for disengaging from another’s addiction. Please consider finding a group for yourself.
I strongly urge you to get on with your own life. I have to wonder if there is something troubling you that maybe you don’t want to face so you stay preoccupied with your ex rather than move on. He’s a great distraction but stalking him and thinking about him isn’t helping him and is keeping you stuck. If that’s the case, I hope you will look into getting some therapy to help you. To continue to be emotionally caught up in this relationship is unhealthy. You deserve better.
I wish you well.