I’ve met a guy on the Internet and after talking for a month we decided to stay together and start a long distance relationship. At the beginning I didn’t see anything wrong with him, he was very sweet with me and seemed having a full life. But then one day after having argued a little he started saying that he didn’t care about me anymore and that he didn’t want to be with me anymore. I was shocked, but what shocked me is that just 10 minutes later he was imploring me to forgive him and to get back together because he loved me endlessly.
I told this to my best friend and she was joking when she said he might be bipolar but then something else happened. While we were still messaging as friends and talking about relationships he started saying he’s a horrible human being and that he should die. I said that maybe he was still suffering because of his parents divorce, but he said it wasn’t because of that, because they divorced 14 years ago. He said he has tried several times to kill himself, sometimes with a gun or with a knife. I was shocked, and I asked why he was trying to do such a horrible thing. He said it’s because he has these voices in his head. Some of them are good, but some others are bad and they tell him to kill himself.
I tried to help him but he said he doesn’t want any help because he’s always had those voices and they won’t go away. I’m terrified, this situation upsets me, and I wish I could stop talking to him because sometimes he tells me horrible things, but I’m afraid of what his reaction might be. What might be his problem? Could he be bipolar or schizophrenic? Thanks for your help!
It is impossible to know with certainty what might be wrong. What is clear is that he is mentally unstable. Psychologically, it will be difficult for him to engage in a healthy relationship at this time.
You are not a mental health professional nor should you try to treat his problems. His problems should be handled by mental health professionals. When and if he threatens suicide, your response should be to call the authorities.
The purpose of dating is to determine if the other person is a good match. When a bad match is evident, it’s time to move on.
You stated that you “wish I could stop talking to him.” You can, if you choose to. The longer you remain in the relationship, the more difficult it will be to end it. It would be in your best interest to end this relationship as soon as possible. Please take care.
Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.
Randle, K. (2018). Is This Person Bipolar or Schizophrenic?. Psych Central.
Retrieved on November 25, 2020, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/03/29/is-this-person-bipolar-or-schizophrenic/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 29 Mar 2015)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.