My life has been going down hill recently. I have never been an abusive person, but suddenly I punched two kids in my class (they were teasing me but that is no excuse). Academically I’m not doing so great anymore. I used to get straight A’s, now I get D’s and C’s. One of my best friends completely turned on me and is now siding with the bullies. I feel as if my friends are a bad influence. I’d love to unfriend them but then I would be left all alone (I go to a private school and there’s only 7 people in my class) I felt so bad for punching them I cannot believe that I had done that, it’s so not like me, I didn’t do it on purpose it was like a reflex. I feel bad when I eat something so I’ve stopped eating completely. My self esteem is also low so I’m trying to lose as much weight as possible. My only real friends are my internet friends and sadly I can’t meet them, which often makes me sad thinking about it. I just want to know what’s wrong with me. I’m becoming a person I don’t want to be. (age 15, from unknown)Life Going Down Hill
Life Going Down Hill
I’m sorry that things have been so difficult for you lately. Fifteen is a difficult age and friendships can come and go quickly. It’s unfortunate that you have such a small peer group to pick from, being in private school. It sounds like you already realize that punching the kids who were teasing you was not the best way of handling the situation, although I do believe that it is important to stick up for yourself.
The fact that you feel bullied, your grades are dropping and you aren’t eating regularly are all signs that you need some help. You need to reach out to the school counselor or ask your parents to find you a therapist outside of the school. You also need to let the school administrators know that you are being bullied, if you haven’t already.
Don’t give up on trying to make new friends or giving your old ones another chance. Like I said, things between friends can change rapidly and frequently at your age so the tide might turn back in your favor. It is also important to find things that you enjoy doing and activities that you feel highlight your skills so that you can begin rebuilding your self-esteem. Remember that this time in your life is only a chapter, and you have an entire book to write.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts