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My Life Is Falling Apart

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I am in a relationship with a girlfriend and she is pregnant with a kid I’m not sure is mine. I have been in a relationship for 10 months. Recently I have found many things to make me believe she is cheating. First I found a text to her ex boyfriend… he said he was moving back to Bloomington, her reply was “Does that mean you are single?? I know Bloomington like the back of my hand!!” I asked her about it, she said it was a random question. One week later I saw a text message on her phone “I am not going to be in town tomorrow, I will see you Tuesday” when I asked her who it was she said it was an old lady from the bank…but I called the number and it was a man. I told her that, and she says it is just a customer from the bank…but can’t explain how he got her cell phone #. Now she is pregnant! I looked at phone records and she called that same # had an 18 min call…the day she found out she was pregnant. This call was made before she told me. I asked her about it and she swears she didn’t call him. I still don’t know who the # belongs to. She just keeps telling me that I have to trust her. But I can’t right now. I said I want DNA testing, she got mad and said that I need to just trust her.
I guess my question is…am I just thinking to much about this, or do I have a legitimate reason to worry…it is consuming me, I can’t sleep and it is all I can think about. She says I am just looking for stuff…but I feel like I have a reason to suspect her of cheating. Please help me figure out how to let this go.

My Life Is Falling Apart

Answered by on -


This isn’t something to let go of. If you distrust her this much, and have such strong suspicions, you’ll need to follow up. Her weak answers, the pattern the phone calls, and her not being able to give you compelling answers, makes this an important issue. While a DNA test certainly seems a good way to go, you’ll want to talk with a couple’s counselor both before and after — regardless of the results.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

My Life Is Falling Apart

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). My Life Is Falling Apart. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 24, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 10 Mar 2015)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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