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My Relationship Has Come to a Fork in the Road

Asked by on with 1 answer:

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 years now, we moved to Colorado together three years ago from Texas. Our reasons for moving were for no other than, we are young and why not!

When we first moved here life was magical and perfect, it is so drastically different from were we came from that we couldn’t get enough of it. The only down side of our move was the reaction from my family. They were very supportive and excited for me until reality set in. My mom constantly fought (still does) about my move, I was very stressed about it all. She especially was, I felt awful but it happened, it was too late.

Moving on we eventually got a dog, life becomes repetitive, I have lost all of my motivation. Our sex life becomes dull and I become more distant. More and more I realize that I have completely lost attraction towards him.

When we first moved here together we said that we would wait five years until we got married or engaged.The plans of buying a house in so many years are creeping up and becoming more real. I have tried to explain my anxiety with him, his reaction is to just get frustrated and angry and constantly say in a sarcastic angry tone tell me that I’m going to move back to TX and how he never will.

If I left him and this life, I would go back to Texas where ALL of my family lives and opportunity for me thrives and old friends I cherish.

Stay, then I am with someone that loves to travel as much as me and wants a future of new destination and possibilities. With someone that, honestly I don’t feel much of a connection with. This will mean never going back to a place close to a family that I am very close to.

My Relationship Has Come to a Fork in the Road

Answered by on -

A.

I think you’ve answered your own question. It’s sad and disappointing when a relationship comes to an end. But from everything you’ve said — yours has. Staying with someone because they are a good traveling companion isn’t a good enough reason. It doesn’t compare to the richness that awaits back home.

It also doesn’t mean you couldn’t travel with him even after you split. Ending the relationship doesn’t necessarily mean ending contact.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

My Relationship Has Come to a Fork in the Road

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). My Relationship Has Come to a Fork in the Road. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 18, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/03/08/my-relationship-has-come-to-a-fork-in-the-road/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.