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My 16-Year-Old Brother Is Always Angry!

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From Dubai: Hey, I hope you are doing well. I am 18 years old, I am the eldest in the family and I have a big problem. You see, my brother is 16 years old and is in high school. I live with my mother, brother and sister. My younger brother seems to have a big issue, ever since he was a kid, he was always angry and would fight with little kids, and then gradually grew up to be a loner. He dislikes hanging out with boys his age, dislikes going out with us, or participating in any activity. He just likes to spend his time on his laptop playing Minecraft (and other games) and watching youtube videos, he never studies, barely actually… just before the exams, and ignores his chores, we can’t talk to him because he is just angry… And in our religion, praying is quite important, it relaxes the mind and he never prays, just wastes his time… We can barely afford his high school fees (30k dirhams which is around $8,167.71 US Dollar) and don’t even know how will we afford his college fees, he probably won’t receive a scholarship.

Sadly, when he is angry, and we are in his way to calm him down, he gets even angrier, and when he asks us to leave him alone, he’d get so angry he’d actually start bang the door, throw things and just cause noises and break things. We have no control over him, we considered a psychologist, but we cant afford it. Yesterday, my mum asked him to study and leave his laptop and he started talking back in a bad manner, and when I came in between to calm things down, he pushed me out of the room and beat me up, and it was very brutal and when my mum tried to come in between he pushed her away brutally, I was very angry, it leaded up to calling the police, and the police came, but they can’t take him away because he is a minor… in front of the policemen, he’d lie and pretend he is all innocent and they were very sympathetic with him and just told us to take hime to a psychologist or to leave him alone.

I am afraid he’ll grow up to be a bad person, he is a good person at heart but he is just short tempered. (We don’t have any relatives to help) we’ve spoken to him and bought him all the things he wants, including a guitar to keep himself occupied but he is just wasting his brain cells on the laptop.

Thank you in advance.

My 16-Year-Old Brother Is Always Angry!

Answered by on -

A.

Your brother is lucky to have such a supportive family. You’re right. He has a big problem and the things you and your family are doing are not helping him. Since this has been going on since he was a child, he is suffering from some undiagnosed problem. He needs a mental health evaluation.

I suggest that the money your family is paying for school would be better spent getting him some professional help. He isn’t doing what he needs to do to succeed in school. More important is to help him have a chance to succeed in life. School can come later.

I wish you well.|
Dr. Marie

My 16-Year-Old Brother Is Always Angry!

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). My 16-Year-Old Brother Is Always Angry!. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 17, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/03/06/my-16-year-old-brother-is-always-angry/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.