There is no one single cause. There are many possibilities. The answer depends on your personal life and circumstances. I would need to know a great deal of information concerning your personal life and psychosocial history.
What can be said with certainty is that your pattern of behavior has led to your unhappiness. That’s obviously a problem because you are unsatisfied with your life situation.
When a problem arises, you should attempt to correct it. Counseling is the perfect arena to explore this issue. Many people enter counseling with very similar issues.
You have identified a problem. You don’t know why but it seems to you that you are constantly picking the wrong men. I would agree that it is a problem because you are dissatisfied with the men that you have picked. If you were my client I would help you find the answers that you seek, I am not your therapist but there are therapists close to your location, who can become your therapist. Please allow them to help.
Think of counseling as a personal trainer for your mind. It’s an efficient way to deal with a long-running and correctable problem. Choose a therapist with whom you feel the strongest connection. Also choose someone who has successfully helped people with similar problems. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle