I’m sorry you are having this trouble. Nothing is more frustrating than not being able to sleep well and it also affects our mental and physical health. I can’t be any more certain about WHY you aren’t sleeping than you. Your therapist may be right in that there may be some unconscious protective mechanism at play, it could be part of an anxiety disorder (imagining worst case scenarios), it could be learned behavior that has become a ritual, and finally, hormonal changes most certainly could be making it worse at this point in your life.
Rather than trying to figure out the “why,” I would suggest focusing your energy on new and different remedies. I know you have already tried many of the standards, so you may need to step outside of the box. Have you considered hypnosis, acupuncture, homeopathy, or energy work — such as Reiki? In addition, many medical centers now have multidisciplinary sleep disorder clinics and a quick internet search showed that your local medical school has one. I would encourage you to make an appointment for a complete sleep evaluation.
I hope these suggestions help and you find deep and restful sleep soon.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts