I feel that I am struggling to form emotional connections in my relationships. My girlfriend ended a three year relationship seven months ago; since then I have taken steps to move on. Steps such as seeing other people, getting a new job, even moving to a different city. Despite my efforts, and being intimate with other people, I do not feel the same connection I did previously. While physically gratifying, emotionally my relationships with others feels hollow, and I can’t help but feel uninterested and dissatisfied. This is a direct contrast to my previous relationship. Is there something deeper here that I am missing? What can/should I do in order to help myself overcome my inability to form these deep emotional connections and bonds?
The mutual ending of a relationship is a relatively infrequent occurrence. Relationships commonly end when one person decides that it’s over. The other person doesn’t get to vote. In your case, your girlfriend ended the relationship. I’m assuming that if it were up to you, you would have stayed in the relationship. You didn’t seem to have an option because she decided it was over.
We know that you are capable of having an emotional connection because you did in your previous relationship. That is evidence that you can connect emotionally. It may be that you simply have not yet found someone with whom you wish to share a deep, emotional connection. Be patient. It certainly takes time.
Give yourself time. It’s only been seven months since your breakup. If you find that you continue to struggle with this issue, consult a therapist. A therapist can analyze the nature of your relationships and determine what might be wrong. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
Emotional Connection & Relationships
Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW
Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.
APA Reference Randle, K. (2018). Emotional Connection & Relationships. Psych Central.
Retrieved on May 24, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/02/20/emotional-connection-relationships/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.