Considering all that you have told me about this situation, I can’t, in good conscience, advise you to stay in this relationship. I, of course, can’t predict the future. Perhaps he will never harm anyone, but he is exhibiting many of the warning signs of someone who has the capacity to be violent.
These warning signs include: his following you (which could be stalking), his “increasingly violent and twisted” thoughts, and his “strange, increasingly erratic” behavior, his insistence on discussing “dark or taboo subjects” despite his peers disinterest, and his “constant” discussion of suicide.
Perhaps you don’t want to end the relationship because you’re flattered by his love, but it’s a mismatch if you only want to be friends. He’s not looking to be friends with you. If you don’t love him, then you are being unfair and misleading him by continuing the relationship. In your letter, you predict that he’ll eventually be admitted to a mental hospital or attempt suicide but you are overlooking a third, potential option: he attacks you because your attention gave him false hope.
Your friends and peers see him as dangerous and someone to avoid. Why don’t you? Their instincts are correct. You should not continue this relationship. Fortunately, he is in therapy and working with mental health professionals. Let the professionals do their job and take the advice of your friends: end this relationship “before it’s too late.” Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle