I think you are stressed and irritable because your life is too stressful. Ditto for your husband. You’ve both taken on a huge load. Work, school, household, kids. I suspect that neither of you is getting enough sleep or enough couple time.
Unlike other major problems, this one was planned. That doesn’t make it less painful but it does mean that you can rethink it a bit. You both decided to go back to school. I’m guessing that you both felt that that more education will help you and the family have a better future. But maybe you didn’t think through what it would mean to your present.
Is it possible for you and your husband to alternate terms so that one can pick up the slack at home while the other studies? Is there a way for you to get a little more help like a babysitter for the kids for a few hours of study time on the weekend? If finances don’t allow that, is there a way for you to trade childcare with another student who is a parent so that you each get some uninterrupted time for your school work or for a date with your spouses? Get creative and you may be able to reduce the stress.
I wonder how your are talking to your husband. Without knowing the two of you, I don’t know what exactly you meant when you described him as “cold.” Maybe he is. Or maybe he is as overwhelmed as you are and that’s the way he is showing it.
He may be interpreting your efforts to talk with him as critical or accusatory. If you haven’t already done so, do try to talk to him sympathetically about how hard it must be for him as well. As my grandmother used to say, “you get more bees with honey than with vinegar.”
You two need to be a strong team to get through to graduation. I hope you can start working together to support each other and to achieve your goals.
I wish you well.