My husband asked for space after 17 years. He says I belittled him, didn’t respect him and demeaned him. The past 2-3 years in my eyes weren’t that great. I did notice at times I did do that. Other times I thought I was joking but he didn’t see it that way. I do love him I enjoy doing things with him. I haven’t been alone since I was 19 years old. He did confront me a few times and tell me to stop and that it hurt his feelings and I brushed it off and didn’t take it seriously. He tells me he needs to fix himself before he can do anything with us. I am working on anger issues, trying to use better nicer words. Is there any other advice you can give me? We are going to marriage counseling. Our second session will be on Thursday. He left the week before Thanksgiving and is staying with his sister and brother in law. He seemed okay to talk every once in a while since then but this past week and after Christmas he seems to revert inward. He told me yesterday that he has been really down and depressed. He keeps saying he needs to fix himself. I understand that. My other question is will the not communicating push us further apart? He would rather text but it seems that I end up communicating first.
I did feel neglected at times and could feel that he was pulling away but he wouldn’t tell me what was going on. He had told me prior that it was hard for him to tell me cause then I would get angry. And we would do this tit for tat thing to each other when things happened. I think we have a communication issue as well.
Thank You.Husband Asked for Space After 17 Years
Husband Asked for Space After 17 Years
I admire you taking responsibility for creating some of the problems in the relationship. I think that is a good start. Couples sometimes need to hit this level of dissatisfaction before they can have a turnaround. Frequently it takes a separation like this to realize how important the other person is to you.
I would strongly recommend you bring your concerns to the marriage counselor and to continue working on yourself and individual therapy. This sounds like an important and critical time for the relationship. See this as an opportunity to bring positive changes in your life personally — and as a couple.