From the U.S.: I can’t do this on my own, have no idea where to even go or what to do anymore. I’ve been smoking weed and cigs since 2009, I have been actively trying to quit for a year. I can’t go a day without smoking, its all I think about, it consumes my life now. It never used to be this way. I have an addictive personality it sends me into panic mode thinking of not smoking ever again in my life .
I know it’s just weed and tobacco, but it’s to the point where I can’t eat or sleep if I don’t smoke, I go into rage modes where I physically hurt myself and others, I try killing myself, I literally go insane. After the rage stops my whole body and mind just hurt, for up to 4 days after. It’s like, once my mind is there I cant stop until I explode, I call it a brain orgasm, I’m so mean, I don’t even remember half the shit I say to people or do, too angry.
I’ve gone without smoking in three years is about 7 days, the nightmares, the waking up in a wet bed from sweating all night, makes sense, I’m going through withdrawals, but I can’t eat for five days, I don’t sleep for five full days, it’s hell.
It’s to the point where I only smoke to feel sick, I like the tobacco buzz, my mind thinks it wont get high unless the cig tobacco is mixed with it. I smoke all day long, I puke from it. I have really bad congestion where I can’t even breathe after I smoke, I have to gasp for air.
I still don’t care what its doing to my body as long as i have my weed and cigs. I have been to the doctors and they tell me I either have bipolar, or a mood disorder with depression. I can’t even keep a job for longer than a year.
I’m not a really lazy person, I like, I NEED to be around people to feel happy, but its’ like once I have a job, even one that I love, I can only hang for about 8 months, then I go into these depression spells where it effects everything in my life.
I’m afraid to go back to work or even look for another job,I Can’t Stop Smoking Weed
I Can’t Stop Smoking Weed
You didn’t ask a question but this is certainly a cry for help — even though you say you don’t want to change. What you are describing is addiction with a capital “A”. No, it’s not “just” weed and tobacco. People differ physiologically and psychologically. You obviously can’t handle either. You are addicted and it has taken over your life.
You’re right. You can’t do this on your own. I don’t know if you have a co-occurring mental illness. I do know you need treatment. That means following through with medical and psychological help. If you can, look for an in-patient stay to jump start you to sobriety. If you can’t do that, please look for a mental health center or practice that specializes in substance abuse and take your treatment seriously. An important support is NA, Narcotics Anonymous. Yes, I know. Weed isn’t a narcotic. But NA supports anyone for whom drugs are a problem. Here’s their website: http://www.na.org/
You made an important first step by writing to us here at PsychCentral. Please take the next one and get started on treatment. You are only 24. You can get free of this and have a long and happy life.
I wish you well.