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Disclosing Involvement During Time of Our Separation

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Hello, thank you for taking the time to read this. I am currently in a relationship with my amazing boyfriend. This past summer, he broke up with me because he wanted each of us to find our true selves. We were separated for about 5 months. During this time, I got intimate with a mutual friend of ours, as well as a couple of other guys whom he does not know. I had no feelings attached to any of the men. My boyfriend and I are back together and are as happy as ever. We realize that our love for each other and our bond is immensely strong and we are better together.
I am wondering if it would be best to disclose to my boyfriend the information of me being involved with others in our time of separation. I am huge on complete honesty and commitment in our relationship, and have demonstrated this to him as he has to me. I love him for all that he is. I know that I would not really want to know if he was involved with anyone during our time apart, but this has been on my mind as far as me telling him about myself. Also, I do not think he would have big issue in this, as he has told me about his past relationships before we even got together, and has an open mind. Any and all advice is truly appreciated!

Disclosing Involvement During Time of Our Separation

Answered by on -


Thank you for sending your letter to us here at Psych Central. Your boyfriend requested the separation, and the consequences were the inevitable. That time for both of you was designated as an effort to find “your true self.” That happen. You realized (and so did he) that your love is true and strong. If he hasn’t asked, he may not want to know either. I would be honest if he asks, but not offer the information if he doesn’t.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Disclosing Involvement During Time of Our Separation

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Disclosing Involvement During Time of Our Separation. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 20, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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