First of all, there is no way that you can fail at everything you’ve attempted in life. You need to examine the “measuring stick” that you are using. Maybe you are struggling with school and employment right now, but using some of your other examples like committing to not drinking or smoking, practicing patience and being kind to others are things that other people struggle with (even people with stable jobs). All of us have strengths and weaknesses. All of us have things that come easy to us and things we really have to strive for and put extra effort into. It’s part of being human.
If you are not finding helpful answers within yourself right now, it is time to look elsewhere. If you are feeling disconnected, then you need to search for ways to connect. Therapy is certainly one way to do this and you can look into what services your local community mental health center has to offer, but you may find other ways to feel more connected as well.
Try volunteering for a cause you care about, try a new hobby, or take one class in college instead of taking a full load. Set your goals small so that you can begin to feel some success and then build on this. Give yourself chances to discover things you enjoy outside of yourself and hopefully this will lead you to discovering things within yourself that you can embrace. Just don’t give up. There are many, many successful people in our world who floundered at some point in their lives.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts