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My Boyfriend Enjoys Toying with My Feelings

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My boyfriend enjoys toying with my feeling, humiliating me, keeping things from me. I started dating him, because of the way he courted me at first, such a gentleman. I opened up to him and told him everything about my life, however, he has kept many things from me. He has never wanted to share his facebook with me, at first he would invite me to go visit him in his city (as this is a long distance relationship) and when I would say “I want to come visit you” he would act very peculiar and defensive! As if he were hiding something; a very nasty side of him came out.

Then, he toyed with my feelings by saying he wanted to do something very nice for me, I accepted, but then he acted as if he had never said anything, thus making me feel humiliated. When I eventually brought this up, he didn’t even bother to apologize. He acted the victim instead and said “let’s just break up”.

Not to mention he kissed another guy right in front of me and played it off so smoothly later on. I was there for him when he got arrested for a DUI, when he got really sick, when his grandmother died! Yet, if I tell him I’m struggling he toys with my feelings by saying he’ll “help me” out a little, but he never comes through with his word. I feel stupid and humiliated because I have spent money on him and have always come through with my word when I have told him I’ll do something for him, but he won’t!

What hurts the most is that he enjoys bragging about his luxurious lifestyle knowing I’m struggling with terminal end stage renal disease. He knows this year has been the worst in my life and he has once again toyed with my feelings. I feel that I can’t confront him because anything I say that is true that’s against him will have him wanting to break up. It’s intimidating.

I recently found his facebook, he’s hugging some chubby guy that he took shopping in Vegas. When I brought this up, he just blew it off and blocked me. I want to disappear, people just treat me in life like I’m a nobody. Yes, he’s wealthy, but I have never asked him for anything, it’s how he treats me: he gets a kick out of humiliating me. What should I do? Depression? Yes.

My Boyfriend Enjoys Toying with My Feelings

Answered by on -


I don’t understand what keeps you in such an unbalanced relationship. However sweet he can be at times, your boyfriend is emotionally abusing you. You apparently are constantly giving to him with an open heart. He keeps taking and gets a kick out of making promises he never keeps. It looks to me like breaking up is inevitable. Your self-esteem will take less of a blow if you are the one to call it quits.

I’m very sorry you are struggling with renal disease. That’s all the more reason to get out of an abusive “romance.” Your relationship with your body needs to come first. Focus your energy on your health and do all you can to be an active part of your treatment team. With good care, you can live a good life.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

My Boyfriend Enjoys Toying with My Feelings

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). My Boyfriend Enjoys Toying with My Feelings. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 26, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 29 Jan 2015)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.