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I Go Through Occasional Depression and Feel a Lot of Stress

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I go through occasional depression and feel a lot of stress. I’m a 15-year-old girl. I think I go through occasional depression and feel a lot of stress on me. I think the main reason is due to me being the oldest out of my 2 younger siblings. My parents expect a lot from me, that means my studies, grades, result etc. I recently got my O’level result and I failed in three out of eight subjects. I try so hard to concentrate on my studies but it all goes to waste. Now my parents are putting alot of burden on me, calling me worthless and the depression period started. The depression period comes when something like this happens and I sometimes even plan on suicide. Sometimes I think I should run away from everything and sometimes I try to harm myself because it gets out of hand. Please help me. Thank you. (age 15, from Pakistan)

I Go Through Occasional Depression and Feel a Lot of Stress

Answered by on -

A.

I’m sorry that you have been feeling this way. It sounds like you are under a lot of pressure, both from your parents and yourself. Have you ever heard the phrase “The best we can do is our best?” All you can do is study hard and make good choices and feel confident that you have done your best. You can’t do more than that. You can’t be perfect. None of us can, but we can make ourselves miserable trying to be. Even if you can’t convince your parents to have reasonable expectations for you, you can have realistic expectations for yourself.

You are at an age when it normal to want to please your parents but you are also at an age in which it is important to start developing your own opinions and sense of self. Grades are important but they are not important enough to harm yourself over. Try to take a step back and look at why you have failed the subjects and speak with your teachers about it so that you can understand the situation and take steps to correct it.

I’m not sure what the mental health services are like in your country but hopefully you can speak with a therapist about your depression and stress. Instead of harming yourself, speak to your parents about how badly you feel and that you need their support not criticism. If you can’t find support at home, look for it in other ways such as speaking to friends, developing a hobby, or finding an adult mentor. I know the situation seems bleak now, but it will get better. Give yourself the chance to see that happen.

All the best,

Dr. Holly Counts

I Go Through Occasional Depression and Feel a Lot of Stress

Holly Counts, Psy.D.

Dr. Holly Counts is a licensed Clinical Psychologist. She utilizes a mind, body and spirit approach to healing. Dr. Counts received her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Wright State University and her Masters and Doctoral degrees in Clinical Psychology from Nova Southeastern University. Dr. Counts has worked in a variety of settings and has specialized in trauma and abuse, relationship issues, health psychology, women’s issues, adolescence, GLBT, life transitions and grief counseling. She has specialty training in guided imagery, EMDR, EFT, hypnosis and using intuition to heal. Her current passion involves integrating holistic and alternative approaches to health and healing with psychology.

APA Reference
Counts, H. (2018). I Go Through Occasional Depression and Feel a Lot of Stress. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 24, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/01/27/i-go-through-occasional-depression-and-feel-a-lot-of-stress/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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