I’m sorry that you have been feeling this way. It sounds like you are under a lot of pressure, both from your parents and yourself. Have you ever heard the phrase “The best we can do is our best?” All you can do is study hard and make good choices and feel confident that you have done your best. You can’t do more than that. You can’t be perfect. None of us can, but we can make ourselves miserable trying to be. Even if you can’t convince your parents to have reasonable expectations for you, you can have realistic expectations for yourself.
You are at an age when it normal to want to please your parents but you are also at an age in which it is important to start developing your own opinions and sense of self. Grades are important but they are not important enough to harm yourself over. Try to take a step back and look at why you have failed the subjects and speak with your teachers about it so that you can understand the situation and take steps to correct it.
I’m not sure what the mental health services are like in your country but hopefully you can speak with a therapist about your depression and stress. Instead of harming yourself, speak to your parents about how badly you feel and that you need their support not criticism. If you can’t find support at home, look for it in other ways such as speaking to friends, developing a hobby, or finding an adult mentor. I know the situation seems bleak now, but it will get better. Give yourself the chance to see that happen.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts