I am getting older, it’s getting harder for me to make friends and keep them. I never feel like I belong at home with the in laws, school or at work. I never fit in or feel about of the team. I always feel so distant. Certain times of the year, birthday and holidays, this seems worse. I don’t know what to do anymore.Can’t Keep Friends & Don’t Belong
Can’t Keep Friends & Don’t Belong
You listed your occupation as “military.” People in the military have described having similar problems. Some have “brought their combat training” home with them and struggle to readjust to civilian life. Approximately 40% of returning veterans have difficulty adjusting to being home but many don’t reach out for help. That’s a mistake because there is a great deal of help available.
You could benefit from mental health treatment. Peer support programs can also be quite effective. The peer support model is based upon the idea that veterans can support other veterans, and perhaps, in some cases, better than traditional mental health treatment models.
I would recommend contacting your local Department of Veteran Affairs to determine what mental health services are available. You might be surprised to learn that there are many effective services they offer.
Finally, please don’t make the mistake of thinking that you “should” be able to cure your own psychological problems and that, if you can’t, you have somehow failed. People don’t consider themselves failures when they can’t cure their medical problems yet they hold these unrealistic views about mental health problems. That line of thinking means that people who would benefit from mental health treatment fail to seek it. Most mental health problems are highly treatable. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle