No, this isn’t normal or fair or loving or okay. At 18, you hardly have a “past”. You’ve had some experiences while you figured out what you want and need in a relationship. And, BTW, you didn’t “lose” your virginity in consensual sex. No one does. You made a decision to have sex based on your thoughts and feelings at the time. That is nothing to be ashamed of. And the details are none of your boyfriend’s business.
I have to disagree with your opening paragraph. You and this guy don’t agree on everything and you can’t be completely yourself. You feel you have to apologize for your own history and he controls you with accusations, cheating, and guilt trips. My take on it is that he is too insecure to make a decent relationship with you — or anyone for that matter. Tell him to take the time he needs to grow up. Make yourself available for someone who gets it that what matters in a relationship is who you are now, not what you’ve been through and choices you made (even the poor ones) when you were a young teen.
I wish you well.