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14 and Can’t Trust Anyone with His Heart

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From the U.S.: I’m a 14 year old boy, and I’m going through so much. Well, after a series of failed relationships, I’m losing my trust and am giving up. They all played me like a violin, and just cut my strings. I’m lost and afraid. Will I ever find someone who will treat me right? Why is this happening to me? I feel like there’s something wrong with me. It’s like why even try if I know I’m going to get hurt again.

These lessons in love aren’t helping me. In fact, in every relationship I’ve been in, they all ripped my heart out. They dropped their bombs on all we built. And now they’re just watching it burn. What should I do? I don’t know if I can trust anyone with my heart and my emotions. This is driving me insane, and I just need some advice. None of my friends can help, and are instead putting it aside.

14 and Can’t Trust Anyone with His Heart

Answered by on -

A.

I’m so sorry that your first ventures into love and relationships have gone so badly. You are at an age where lots of teens start trying out what it means to be in a relationship. Often these attempts are awkward and clumsy and sometimes they are hurtful. My guess is that what you are interpreting as personal rejection is more likely that the girls involved don’t know what they are doing either. Your friends can’t help because they are in the same stage of development as you are.

One of my teen clients explained finding a relationship this way: When you go into a store to try on jeans, you don’t blame yourself if a pair of jeans doesn’t fit. You try on another pair, and another, and another until you find the pair that fits just right. Along the way, you learn what brand and cut is more likely to work. Or maybe you learn that you look better in pants than jeans. It’s a process.

Early efforts at making a relationship is sort of like that. All you can do is do your best and learn from each attempt how to make a better choice, then how to communicate better and how to please another person who is interested in pleasing you.

You are far too young to give up on love. Accept the process. It’s the only way you will find true love when the time comes.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

14 and Can’t Trust Anyone with His Heart

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). 14 and Can’t Trust Anyone with His Heart. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 26, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/01/24/14-and-cant-trust-anyone-with-his-heart/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.