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My Husband Has the Desire to Kill

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Hey. I’m just really looking for some serious advice. I really believe my husband is a sociopath. When we first started dating he would mention that it’s hard for him to have feelings. He also said when he was a kid he would torture cats to the point where he would kill them. He said he saw a therapist when he was younger but he doesn’t know the diagnosis. I’ve caught him lying constantly. He has anger issues and it comes out in our relationship. He has never physically put his hands on me but he did tell me that he wants to know what it feels like to kill someone. He is in the military and we have a daughter together. I’m worried about him and our relationship. Will he ever hurt me? He bought a gun recently and this really puts me on edge. Should I just leave him? Can he love at all? Should I confront him? I have never openly asked him about his desires to kill because it scares me. He also bought this sharp pointy like weapon and he says he wants to stab someone in the throat with it. What do I do?

My Husband Has the Desire to Kill

Answered by on -


My serious advice is that you take your own concerns seriously. I don’t advise “confronting” him. You said that he has anger issues. I do suggest that you gently, lovingly and calmly ask him why he is bringing weapons into the house. Look for information, not a fight. Don’t judge. Just hear him out. He may be struggling with issues he hasn’t shared with you.

If you are still worried he might hurt you or your child, please contact the family help line associated with your husband’s branch of service or call the nearest Veterans Administration Hospital to find out what counseling services are available for the two of you. You can’t live with the anxiety. He shouldn’t have to live with whatever is causing his anger and fear.

Army: Wounded Soldier and Family Hotline:

Navy: Safe Harbor:

Marine Corps: Wounded Warrior:

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

My Husband Has the Desire to Kill

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). My Husband Has the Desire to Kill. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 29, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 21 Jan 2015)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.