A: I think it is a very bad idea to give your father medication that is not prescribed for him. It is definitely not the correct way to handle the situation and could get you in trouble, and it’s not the best way to end the cycle. Instead of telling your father what he needs to do … like “go to the doctor,” try telling him how his anger makes you feel. Empower your mother to talk to her husband about her feelings as well, but even that is her choice, not yours. You have moved out from the home so it is really an issue your parents need to deal with themselves.
You have every right to set boundaries with your father if he is disrespectful or overly aggressive toward you, but you cannot force him to change if he does not want to or doesn’t see the problem. Set your personal boundaries, try to understand his stress and anger, give him feedback on how he makes you feel and focus on breaking the cycle yourself.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts