My father is a very angry person. Mainly he is so worried about being successful in his job that he finds this an excuse to turn the whole house into a tension area. He isn’t alcoholic, physically abusive or anything, but his father is physical and I am afraid that he is walking in the same footsteps, since he is getting worse and worse every day. I sometimes get adrenaline when I remember him (I moved out) and mom is kind of sad these days. Anyway now that I moved to my grandparents for free food lol, I am seeing a horrible resemblance between abusive granddad and daddy, so I want to stop him, but he finds it insulting when I say, go to the doctor. Next weekend, I am going to psychiatrist and whatever drug he gives me I’ll slip it into his tea or whatever. If he finds out, he’ll hate me forever. Should I do it? Also mom knows about this plan and isn’t 100% with me on it, but I want to end the cycle, because my uncle is very paranoid and my brother will be too, also I feel sometimes this way. (Age 17, from Egypt)
A: I think it is a very bad idea to give your father medication that is not prescribed for him. It is definitely not the correct way to handle the situation and could get you in trouble, and it’s not the best way to end the cycle. Instead of telling your father what he needs to do … like “go to the doctor,” try telling him how his anger makes you feel. Empower your mother to talk to her husband about her feelings as well, but even that is her choice, not yours. You have moved out from the home so it is really an issue your parents need to deal with themselves.
You have every right to set boundaries with your father if he is disrespectful or overly aggressive toward you, but you cannot force him to change if he does not want to or doesn’t see the problem. Set your personal boundaries, try to understand his stress and anger, give him feedback on how he makes you feel and focus on breaking the cycle yourself.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts
Angry Father, I Want to Drug Him
Holly Counts, Psy.D.
Dr. Holly Counts is a licensed Clinical Psychologist. She utilizes a mind, body and spirit approach to healing. Dr. Counts received her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Wright State University and her Masters and Doctoral degrees in Clinical Psychology from Nova Southeastern University. Dr. Counts has worked in a variety of settings and has specialized in trauma and abuse, relationship issues, health psychology, women’s issues, adolescence, GLBT, life transitions and grief counseling. She has specialty training in guided imagery, EMDR, EFT, hypnosis and using intuition to heal. Her current passion involves integrating holistic and alternative approaches to health and healing with psychology.
APA Reference Counts, H. (2018). Angry Father, I Want to Drug Him. Psych Central.
Retrieved on May 23, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/01/14/angry-father-i-want-to-drug-him/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.