Though it’s impossible to diagnose over the Internet, your daughter having conduct disorder seems unlikely, though possible. Young adults with conduct disorder tend to be aggressive, violent, have significant issues with anger management and struggle with school and home life issues. Many individuals with conduct disorder are also involved with the criminal justice system. From your correspondence, your daughter doesn’t seem to be demonstrating this behavior.
Though she might not have conduct disorder, her stealing from you is a problem that should not be ignored. I don’t think you need to “confront” your daughter but you do need to have a frank discussion with her about this unacceptable behavior.
She also struggles with anger issues. As you suspect, she may be imitating what she has observed from her father. Both the stealing and how she manages her anger need to be addressed.
You can speak to your daughter about these issues and I would encourage you to do so. Also, you should consider family therapy. A family therapist can facilitate these difficult discussions, work to strengthen family relationships, improve your communication and overall reduce conflict. Ask your family doctor for a referral to a family therapist. Books about tough love would also be helpful. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle