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I Can’t Accept Myself

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Well I’m gay and I stopped denying it recently. I always known that there’s something different with me, though. I hate it and I’m so afraid because everybody around me says awful things about gays. I am unhappy and I have strong feeling that I will stay that way and in 20 years I see myself miserable and alone. Worse thing is that I hate the way my character is. I put myself down all the time because I’m not strong, I care too much about other people opinions and I see myself generally unlikable. Being gay only complicates things by miles. My parents are conservative and curse gays when something about them is on TV. One day when I come out they MAY accept it as some time passes by but deep down I know they will be ashamed of me. And I read some stuff that homosexuality is inherited so I can’t stop thinking about my dad being gay in the closet too. Every thing he does that jumps out of something that straight man would do is bugging me so hard. My mom is something like tomboy and it is a weird combination. If he turns out to be gay (which I suppose I will never find out) I think I couldn’t handle it. A lot of stuff is going on my mind, a lot of possible scenarios and it is giving me so much stress. I can’t ask my parents for a therapist because it’s expensive and they would ask me to talk about the problem with them first. I just want to run away somewhere where nobody knows me and start all over, I don’t know how long I can live like this. I’m sorry if the letter is messy, it’s just that I don’t have anyone to tell them this stuff. (From Serbia.)

I Can’t Accept Myself

Answered by on -


Thanking you for writing us about your concern. From your background information it says you are in school. I would find a trusted teacher or counselor in the school that you can talk to. You might begin by simply communicating your need to talk to a therapist to sort through some personal issues. The teacher or counselor is likely to have resources to help you find a therapist. You need a safe adult that you can trust to talk to about this issue and your feelings. The trusted people at your school are likely to be able to help.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

I Can’t Accept Myself

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). I Can’t Accept Myself. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 30, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 8 Jan 2015)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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