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My Boyfriend’s Parents Don’t Approve of Me

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Him and I started dating in a mental health treatment facility, so the relationship wasn’t supposed to happen since we were both working on depression. Our child youth workers called his parents and told them the relationship was unhealthy, but told us that we could always get back together when we leave and are stable. He told his parents that, but his parents minds haven’t changed over that. As well as the age, I’m 15, and he is 17. It’s legal in every way and will continue to be acceptable to Canadian law even when he turns 18 because the age of consent has an exception to relationship within a five year age gap as well as I become of legal consent four months after his birthday because I turn 16. His parents can’t accept him dating a 15-year-old and I don’t know how we can get his parents on board but we want to be as open and honest to his parents as we can, but we want to make this work. Do you know how we can make this work?

My Boyfriend’s Parents Don’t Approve of Me

Answered by on -

A.

I appreciate the dynamics of your relationship, and I think the emphasis has to be on long term. Both of you have just come through an extremely difficult time in your life. This isn’t about making it right in the short run with the relationship, this is about getting your life on track. What I would recommend is that you take a much longer view of the relationship and your mental health. Think of it as the difference between a sprint and a marathon. If you know something is only going to last a very short time you can put a lot of energy into it. But if you are thinking it’s going to be for a long time you have to approach it differently and pace yourself.

The goal here is for the two of you to remain healthy and to make your personal well-being the priority. Believe it or not the relationship has to be second to your well-being right now. If you’re not good, and he’s not good, nothing will work in the long run.

I put the emphasis on taking very good care of yourself first and foremost and let the relationship evolves over time. Don’t push the river.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

My Boyfriend’s Parents Don’t Approve of Me

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). My Boyfriend’s Parents Don’t Approve of Me. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 26, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/01/05/my-boyfriends-parents-dont-approve-of-me/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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