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My Parents Left Me

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From Jordan: My parents got divorced when I was 10, I lived with my mother in a house that she bought, she used to treat me well and care for me and my older brother, but a year ago, she left us and took my young brother with her to Dubai, and every time we call her to check if she’s okay or needs anything, she screams at us crazily and says “I hope you die”, and sometimes she threatens us that she’s going to call the police if we don’t leave her house, and this hurts me so much because I need her beside me and I miss the old her.

My dad is also in dubai and he’s married and has two kids, but he never asks about me, he only sends me money when I keep on begging him, he likes to see me begging, and when I tell him that they “$200 for example” are not enough, he tell me that when he was my age he didn’t have a shoe and such stuff, and that I’m a big fat loser and I’m never gonna be anything good in my life, but spends thousands on his two kids a week, because his salary is about $25k.

I feel lost, I need a parent who cares for me and I’m sick of pretending they’re dead because they are alive so why should I not have them?

My Parents Left Me

Answered by on -

A.

Sadly, not every kid gets the parents they need or deserve. I don’t know what’s going on with your parents, but it sounds like they are both trying to erase their former life. You and your older brother represent the life they have left behind. It isn’t fair. It isn’t good. In my opinion, it isn’t moral. But I’m afraid there is little you can do to change it.

The only ray of good news in your story is that you and your brother are on the edge of adulthood. At 17 years old plus, the two of you have the opportunity to get jobs or further your education. At least for now, your parents are providing a place to live and some funds. Use that as a launch pad. The best response to your parents’ desertion that I can think of is for the two of you to create successful adult lives and demonstrate to them how wrong they were to separate from you.

In the meantime, I hope the two of you will actively search for interested and helpful older adult mentors. They can’t take the place of loving parents but they can give you friendship, advice, support and even love. Teachers and older people at your workplace are good candidates for that role. You may also have relatives in the extended family who sympathize with your situation and who would be willing to provide you with some guidance.

Your parents are like a dry well. It doesn’t matter how often you go to draw love, there isn’t enough there to bring up the buckets you need. To keep going to that dry well will only make you sadder and madder. Better to find a new source.

I wish you well,
Dr. Marie

My Parents Left Me

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). My Parents Left Me. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 19, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/12/31/my-parents-left-me/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.