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Relationships with Borderline Personality Disorder

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Yesterday, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. My partner is uncertain if he wishes to remain in our relationship. We live together, and I’m uncertain how to interact with him through this. Our pattern has been for me to bargain with my behavior through being overly giving in such times. How or should I distance myself emotionally, keep safe boundaries while I wait for him to decide? I don’t begin therapy until week after next and the panic with this latest admission of his is overwhelming. Much appreciation for feedback.

Relationships with Borderline Personality Disorder

Answered by on -


Thank you for writing us here. I appreciate your sensitivity to your partner’s needs, and yours. I would suggest both you and your partner read a classic in the field, Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder.

I would also then ask the therapist that you have an appointment to see if you and your boyfriend can come in together for the first appointment. This way the therapist can give you both some feedback on what comes next.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Relationships with Borderline Personality Disorder

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Relationships with Borderline Personality Disorder. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 24, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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