I’m in such a bad situation please help me. About 9 months ago my cousin and I found out that were in love, we’ve been in a relationship for about 7 months. Recently we decide that unfortunately, what were doing is wrong and we need to get over each other and move on, we were both deeply heartbroken we love each other so much but we’ve always been best friends and were even more close now. We decided to stay together until new years so we can get mentally prepared to let go. What can we do to fall out of love? How can we be normal cousins again? PLEASE HELP.
It does appear from your information that you and your cousin live in one of the states where first cousins and first cousins once removed are prohibited from marriage. Unless you plan to relocate I think your plan to take time to discuss and make plans to move on is a good one.
There isn’t a formula for falling out of love with someone. Rather, the work is to honor the depth of your feelings and acknowledge that given the current situation the two of you are making a conscious choice to continue love each other — but not romantically.
At a functional level include time apart where you are not torturing each other with constant contact. Find ways of supporting each other during the initial months, and when each of you do move on — be supportive and happy for each other.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). Forbidden Cousin Romance. Psych Central.
Retrieved on May 23, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/12/22/forbidden-cousin-romance/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.