My dad is so unkind to me. He always calls me mean names like retard and bitch and fat. He tries to be a good father but nothing ever works and I can’t take being near him anymore. My mom tries to get him to stop and it never works. One time when I was telling him how I felt he laughed and when I brought up this family contract we signed promising to stop calling names he said it was all a joke and he kept making noises mental people make and saying I act like that since I get upset about his name calling. I have ADD and things like that are a sensitive topic to me and I try to tell him and he just laughs and tells me I’m the horrible one. His words have started to make me meaner to him and my family and I have started to feel depressed because of it. What should I do ?My Dad’s Unkind Words
My Dad’s Unkind Words
Thank you so much for telling us about this. Your father’s behavior is unacceptable and you do not deserve to be called those or any other derogatory names. This is a problem and it is time to do something about it. Writing us was a good first step. Here are two things you can do.
First, know that the fact your father is calling you these names is verbal abuse, and it isn’t ok for him to do. The feelings you are having are legitimate — he should know better and when he laughs about an agreement that has been made this means he isn’t understanding how wrong his behavior is. Here is a free hotline for you to call that will put you in touch with a counselor who will guide you through the next steps to get support.
Secondly, at 15 you can talk to your high school counselor. He or she can help you in a variety of ways. You can even show the counselor what you have written here for starters.
Don’t wait. My experience in this area is that if the child and the other parent have tried to make changes and it hasn’t worked — it is time to get some outside support.