A lot of times I feel like someone is watching or listening to me and have ever since I was a kid. Sometimes when I look people in they eye, it feels like they are staring. Often as that, I feel like people are talking badly about me. More frequently I have been having a “what if” simulator in my mind that let’s me imagine entire scenarios. Most of these scenarios are spontaneous. Like if I am near a knife, I wonder how people would react If I hurt myself or others. It usually gets much more violent. By the way, I have no intention of hurting myself or anyone. Anyway, my parents tell me that I speak in riddles sometimes. I guess my thoughts are jumbled or I backtracked too far. I used to lie almost all the time, for almost everything. I’ve almost stopped recently though. I feel like I need to define things like friends or love. Most people I talk to call me “mellow of an unnatural level,” I thought I was being cheery. I have horrible experience waking up in the night literally being someone beside my bed, I can move by the way. And lastly sometimes I think that I am a fake and everything I’m saying is just to get attention.Seems Like a Problem, Is It?
Seems Like a Problem, Is It?
The symptoms you have described are concerning. Feeling as though someone is watching you may be indicative of paranoia.
Anxiety may also be a possibility. Sometimes, when people experience a particular type of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), they fear that they might act out in ways that are unpredictable. OCD is a type of anxiety disorder.
The manner in which you interact with others is unusual. Your parents said that you speak in “riddles” and others have said that you are “mellow of an unnatural level.” These are unusual communication styles but more information is necessary to determine what may be wrong.
It would be advantageous for you to be evaluated by a mental health professional. An evaluation would help you to know if anything is wrong and how to treat it. Ask your parents for assistance in finding a mental health professional. Don’t ignore your symptoms. They are treatable with mental health intervention. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle