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I Am in Love With My Best Friend Who Is also a Woman

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From the U.S.: I have told a friend before that I had feels for them and our friendship ended. I don’t know what to do. I can’t keep going on like this, but I am terrified of telling her how I feel. I have no idea if she is even interested in women as I have only seen her date men. I don’t want to ruin the friendship but I can’t stop my feelings either.

I Am in Love With My Best Friend Who Is also a Woman

Answered by on -

A.

You are at an age when people figure out their own sexuality and how to participate in what used to be called “courting”. It’s a time that can be very sweet and also very painful. It doesn’t matter whether you are gay or straight or bi-. Not everyone you are attracted to will return the attraction. You will also probably do your share of rejecting some people who are interested in you.

Before baring your soul to your friend, you should just talk generally about who she is interested in. Good friends often share their experiences, their fears, and their efforts to make relationships they want to make. If she doesn’t give you any indication that she is interested in women romantically, and you think you would lose the friendship if you made your feelings known, the wise thing to do would be to back off from romance and treasure the friendship. Good friends are sometimes hard to find. Make yourself available for love with the people who share your orientation.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

I Am in Love With My Best Friend Who Is also a Woman

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). I Am in Love With My Best Friend Who Is also a Woman. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 22, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/12/10/i-am-in-love-with-my-best-friend-who-is-also-a-woman/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.