You’re right. This is a terrible mess. As a client, it’s not up to you to maintain boundaries on your own. That’s our job as therapists and your therapist should know better. It doesn’t matter how much you pushed for a personal relationship. That should have become a topic for your therapy, not an excuse for your therapist to violate boundaries. Of most concern is that you said that you are supposed to keep all this a secret. From what you report, she has broken many of our professional rules.
Each professional organization has an ethics committee that reviews complaints like yours.
If your therapist is a Psychologist, contact the Ethics Committee of the American Psychological Association (APA): http://www.apa.org
If she is a Social Worker, contact the Ethics Committee of the National Association of Social Workers (NASW): http://www.naswdc.org
If a Licensed Mental Health Worker, contact the licensing board in your state.
The therapist you describe is not your friend. However much she has helped you, she is also harming you. You deserve good treatment from a competent healer. Terminate your therapy and find someone who doesn’t make you dependent, isolated and afraid.
I wish you well.