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Desire to Be Sexual with Mom

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From Romania: A little about me first: I’m not a virgin. I had sex about fifty times with two girls since I was 16. I no longer interact with them. I used to masturbate frequently, but I stopped 2 months ago as an experiment. I don’t want to start this habit again.

The Oedipus complex that I had as a child has come back for revenge three days ago. The difference is that this time, I am ready to act upon my desire. I don’t want sex per say, I would be fine with just a hand job.

My relationship with my mom is a typical spoiled brat and slave one. She does everything for me even though most of the time I treat her like garbage and don’t show gratitude. She has raised me on her own because father left when I was a baby and from what I can tell; she has no interest in me sexually.

I’ve devised a guide with multiple steps that could guarantee me a higher chance of reaching my goal. The main step is becoming the best son ever, helping her with her work and such, so that she feels like she owes me something special. Another step is spending time with her talking and increasing physical contact, of which there is none at the moment (hugs, kisses, massages). The process could take up to a month. It sounds like a good deal to me: be a model son in exchange for the occasional hand job and maybe more.

I’ve read hours upon hours of mom-son related sexual questions and issues, but I have not seen one convincing argument as to why I should not do this, other than the chance of being thrown out, but I am willing to accept that risk. What I expect from people reading is to give me actual good reasons as to why pursuing this desire is wrong.

Desire to Be Sexual with Mom

Answered by on -


The convincing argument is embedded in your email. Everything you are talking about only has to do with you. These are fantasies, desires, and wishes that exist only inside your thoughts. These are your fantasies — not your mother’s. All of these things are only about satisfying your imagination — not about anything else. At 22 years old, the work for you is to understand this fantasy at a deeper level. The attraction of a boy toward his mother has been studied since the beginning of psychology. However, it is understood as a developmental yearning that helps to form intimate relationships with others. Your fantasy is about being good enough to get love. The work in front of you is to understand what you need in intimate relationships from others — not from your mother.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Desire to Be Sexual with Mom

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Desire to Be Sexual with Mom. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 28, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 28 Nov 2014)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.