As you have described, anger has “always” been a problem for you. Lately, you’ve noticed it’s becoming worse, to the point where you have “no control” over your behavior. You fear that you might harm your children. Those are all clear signs that you should seek help.
You have not physically harmed your children, but undoubtedly they are suffering each time you deliberately frighten them. Psychological abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse.
As a parent, it is your job to protect your children from any and all danger. Because there are times when you lose control, they are at risk of being harmed by you. You tried to deal with it on your own and it hasn’t been enough.
By seeking professional help, you will be doing the right thing. It is the most responsible course of action. Many communities offer a range of anger management programs and support groups. Choose a therapist who specializes in anger management.
Some people have the mistaken idea that seeking professional help for psychological problems is a sign of weakness. That is simply not true. It is the insightful and intelligent individual who strives to be psychologically healthy and will do whatever is necessary to ensure that outcome.
Anger problems are correctable. Whether or not you seek professional help for a correctable problem is your choice. I hope that you make the right decision. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle