From Canada: I’m 18 and I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, we started having issues in march when I found he’d been texting and flirting with a girl from work, I was heartbroken and nearly broke up with him, he assured me it wouldn’t happen again. Then in August I found he’d been talking to his ex girlfriend. Now, I found he’s messaging two girls, one doesn’t seem very interested, but the other he had a fairly long and flirty conversation with. I don’t think he would physically cheat on me, but mentally is just as bad, if not worse to me. It kills me that he is talking to other people, it makes me feel like I’m not good enough and they must have qualities that I don’t.
I try not to be a jealous person as I know that is not a good quality but I can’t help it, I’m so insecure. I went through his phone the first two times because I could tell something was up, it was wrong of me to invade his privacy I’m sure, but I was so scared. And honestly, I did not expect to find anything yesterday, I thought I was confirming that he stopped talking to them, but then I found he was messaging two others. He assured me he loves me and it doesn’t mean anything and he’ll stop, but I just can’t figure out how I’m supposed to trust him if every time I get over something, another thing arises.
You’re right. You shouldn’t have invaded his privacy. But in this case, I think you have done yourself a favor. How many times do you need him to flirt with others before you give up on this guy? I hope four is enough. It should be. He may think he loves you, but he isn’t mature enough to be committed to you. I don’t think you should waste your time and your love on him. Find someone who is more mature and who is ready to cherish you as you deserve.
I wish you well. Dr. Marie
My Boyfriend Is Talking to Other Girls!
Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker
Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.
APA Reference Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). My Boyfriend Is Talking to Other Girls!. Psych Central.
Retrieved on May 24, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/11/16/my-boyfriend-is-talking-to-other-girls/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.