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We Cheated on Each Other, Now Our Daughter Is in the Middle

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My husband and I have been together 3 years we have a 2 year old daughter together, I began noticing him getting distant, I invaded his privacy by checking his phone, I saw messages from other women one being my own cousin who wanted to be with him, I confronted him with the messages, he promised that he would stop, but he didn’t, soon after I found out he slept with one of his friends. I forgave him because I love him, but I ended up sleeping with a ex-coworker to make him feel what I felt. I know what I did was wrong, but I wanted him to feel what I felt when he told me he had slept with his friend. I love h still but I don’t know if our relationship is worth saving. The only thing I think about is my daughter.

We Cheated on Each Other, Now Our Daughter Is in the Middle

Answered by on -

A.

Thank you for taking the time to tell us about your situation. This is rough early in a marriage and I wouldn’t wait to start turning this around. The find help tab at the top of this page will help you locate a therapist in your area. Look for a couple’s therapist who can help you find out where the relationship went off the track. Affairs do not come out of the blue. Just like your reaction to him grew out of resentment, his initial reaction to you may have as well. A couple’s therapist can help you figure this all out.

Don’t wait. Without outside intervention these situations often go from bad to worse rather quickly. You both owe it to your daughter try and heal this now.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

We Cheated on Each Other, Now Our Daughter Is in the Middle

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). We Cheated on Each Other, Now Our Daughter Is in the Middle. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 23, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/11/13/we-cheated-on-each-other-now-our-daughter-is-in-the-middle/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.