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Girlfriend Wants to Stop Sex, Start Doing Other Things Together

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From the U.S.: My girlfriend wants to halt our extremely strong sexual relationship while working to strengthen other areas. We have decided we need to work on me becoming more of an active participant in our our relationship as I spend too much time playing golf and not enough time doing things together. I get it and agree. Her decision includes ceasing the strongest part of our relationship (sex) — the part that provides me with a level of emotional intimacy and closeness that I’ve never experienced before. Relationships take work and tinkering but why tinker with a part of the relationship that we both agree is perfect?

Girlfriend Wants to Stop Sex, Start Doing Other Things Together

Answered by on -

A.

The best person to ask is your girlfriend. My guess is that she doesn’t entirely trust that you will engage with the project without removing sex as an option. If that is the case, think about what you can do to reassure her that you fully intend to spend other kinds of quality time with her. Perhaps a compromise is to limit sex to an agreed number of times a week. You may find that reserving sex to special times makes it all the more sweet.

I wish you well,
Dr. Marie

Girlfriend Wants to Stop Sex, Start Doing Other Things Together

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). Girlfriend Wants to Stop Sex, Start Doing Other Things Together. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 19, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/11/11/girlfriend-wants-to-stop-sex-start-doing-other-things-together/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.