Your husband is abusive. His behavior towards you is considered criminal in every state in this country. When you call the police, he will be arrested. None of the incidents that you have described are acceptable. Forced sex is rape, even if the perpetrator is your husband.
When someone is being abused, it’s important to seek help. You can call a local hotline and ask what services are available in your community. You can contact your local community mental health center and meet with a therapist. You can also speak with your primary care physician or your gynecologist who may be able to provide the appropriate referrals.
Here is a link to resources in your state.
Other potential resources include: www.RAINN.org and the Abused Adult Resource Network (AARN). AARN provides emergency support, crisis intervention, temporary shelter, food, counseling, and advocacy to victims of domestic violence and domestic assault in North Dakota. Their goal is to provide individuals with a “life free from abuse.” I would urge you to utilize their resources.
You might also consider living with your parents or another trusted friend or relative. You should never hesitate to call the police when you believe that your husband may attempt to harm you.
The idea of taking action against your husband might be frightening but no one deserves to be abused. Is there a chance to help your husband? The answer is yes, but you must act now. His violence towards you is escalating. That’s the normal pattern. And if it continues to follow the normal pattern, you will end up dead or hospitalized. The longer it goes unreported to the police, the longer it goes with him not getting treatment, the poorer are your chances of saving your marriage.
In order to make changes, you must act to protect yourself and your children. Please stay safe and take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle