What happens to us in life, is almost always a combination of luck and decision-making. We can’t do anything about luck but we can do something about decision-making.
Perhaps leaving a dull marriage was a mistake. Maybe marriage counseling could have repaired the relationship. Perhaps not. Certainly, choosing a woman who is a sociopath is a mistake. Returning to this woman after she lied and caused you to become incarcerated, was a mistake. Perhaps there are more but at least these decisions, were mistakes. Everyone can learn to make better decisions and thus reduce or eliminate the penalties that we must pay for having made poor decisions.
Your anger at the people around you will do you absolutely no good. The fact that you have no intentions of killing them is good, but the fact that you feel this intense emotion towards them is of absolutely no value to you. In all likelihood, your anger towards these people is not only misplaced but is harmful to you. Your energies should be aimed completely at improving your life situation.
Take advantage of any and all counseling that is available to you. Your counselor can help you to direct your emotions, your energies, towards things that will benefit you and will become a tangible good in your life. I hope that you will someday have the life that you desire.
Dr. Kristina Randle