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Relationship with My Mother

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I’ve been having problems with my mom. So I think this all started about four years ago when I was graduating high school. I was dating this girl at the time, my mom and I got along great, her and my mom got along great. When we split up, her and my mother continued to get together and hangout and go do things like lunch and what not. This drove me insane. I felt like my mother betrayed me. So the problem is: ever since then, my attitude towards my mother has been not so good. I find myself being very short with her, confrontational, I get agitated sometimes when I speak with her. I can see it in her face when she talks to me that it upsets her and I don’t want to act like that, it kills me! I love my mother so much. She has done everything for me. What can I do to change? (age 22, from US)

Relationship with My Mother

Answered by on -

A.

A: What you can do to change is begin taking steps right now.  It’s time to sit down with your mother and have a serious heart to heart talk. You need to fill her in on the last four years. Let her know that her ongoing friendship with your girlfriend hurt you and has caused some unresolved bitterness but that you are ready to move on and repair your relationship. You also need to decide if you want to request that your mother end the relationship with your ex (if they still have one), or if enough time has gone by that you too can let it go. 

It sounds like you have always had a good relationship with your mom, so chances are that once you get everything off your chest things will go back to the way it used to be.

All the best,

Dr. Holly Counts

Relationship with My Mother

Holly Counts, Psy.D.

Dr. Holly Counts is a licensed Clinical Psychologist. She utilizes a mind, body and spirit approach to healing. Dr. Counts received her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Wright State University and her Masters and Doctoral degrees in Clinical Psychology from Nova Southeastern University. Dr. Counts has worked in a variety of settings and has specialized in trauma and abuse, relationship issues, health psychology, women’s issues, adolescence, GLBT, life transitions and grief counseling. She has specialty training in guided imagery, EMDR, EFT, hypnosis and using intuition to heal. Her current passion involves integrating holistic and alternative approaches to health and healing with psychology.

APA Reference
Counts, H. (2018). Relationship with My Mother. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 24, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/11/06/relationship-with-my-mother/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.