A: I’m sorry that you have found yourself in this position. If you have laid out the boundaries, the only thing you can do now is see if she respects them. In the meantime, I would suggest that you get help yourself. First of all, it may show her how seriously all the conflict is affecting you, and it may make it easier for her to seek help as well because she won’t feel like you are just pointing your finger at her. It may also serve as a gateway toward marital therapy. And finally, if you do decide to leave the marriage, therapy can be a great support for this often painful and complicated process.
It goes without saying that seeking the affection of another will only complicate an already complicated situation, especially considering that you have children. Your wife would not be the only one hurt by that type of action. I know you are frustrated and lonely, but try to funnel your energy into finding solutions rather than another problem.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts