This is a very challenging set of circumstances. It’s good that your son is seeing a counselor, but he might need more help than the counselor can offer. From what you’ve written it does not appear that it is safe for your son to be living in your home. He is a danger to you and to everyone else in the home. He has a proven track record of reckless behavior. He has endangered your life and the lives of everyone in the home and is constantly making threats. It might be better, for all involved, for him to be placed in a treatment facility where the staff can monitor his behavior and treat him accordingly.
Ask the counselor if he or she would consider assisting you in locating a residential treatment facility (RTF) where your son can live. RTFs are intensive treatment facilities that are staffed by mental health professionals 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Consider calling the local (RTF) and discussing your situation with them directly. They may be able to advise you about how to proceed.
It might also be helpful to call your local mental health crisis team, the local police or the local psychiatric hospital, for assistance.
I’m sorry if my answer may seem to be alarming but I believe that it is possible that by allowing your son to stay in your home, you are risking his life, your life and the lives of others in the home. From your description it does not appear that your son is well and he appears to need more intensive mental health treatment.
It is important that you act expeditiously and do what is necessary to get your son the proper help. The time to act is now, before it’s too late, before someone is harmed or killed. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle