My partner cheated on me last March 2014, when I found out last May 2014 they stopped. But since then, I don’t trust my partner. We’re still living together & we fight a lot. I have a feeling that they still have communication although all the gadgets & emails & passwords are with me now. My partner doesn’t have a phone right now, I am the one who’s holding it. Am I being paranoid? I’m afraid they are using another Facebook acct in different names. For 14 yrs of being loyal I cant accept the fact that my partner cheated on me.
It is very difficult to acknowledge such a betrayal. My experience is that it takes a tremendous amount of effort in therapy for couples to recover from this. In most instances the trust is ruptured and can not be adequately repaired. This betrayal does not heal by itself, and the fact that you don’t trust him and are still looking for evidence will make it very difficult to put it behind you.
I would highly recommend couple therapy if he is willing to go. If he’s not, then it’s time for you to move on.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). Partner Cheating. Psych Central.
Retrieved on May 23, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/10/29/partner-cheating/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.