My boyfriend and his cousin are too attached. How can I make him see that? We can’t plan a single date because he wants to bring his cousin along. I tell him I wanna spend time with him ane he claims we are even when his cousin is there. He doesn’t get the “alone couple” time. The few fights that we have had is because of this. We were in bed recently watching a movie and he got up nervously to check on his cousin who by the way is the same age as him. He even told me that when they were in school the teachers were always trying to separate them because they were always together and teachers thought it wasn’t healthy the way they would behave. Like they depend on each other. (age 26, from US)Boyfriend Too Attached to Cousin
Boyfriend Too Attached to Cousin
A: I’m honestly not quite sure what to say to this, except that I agree with you. I’ve heard of twins having an attachment this strong to each other but not cousins. Don’t get me wrong, having a close attachment with someone is not necessarily unhealthy, but basically refusing to have alone time with a partner because of it seems extreme to me.
I think it’s time to put your foot down about the issue. However, if you make him choose between the two of you, you may not like the result. The best approach would be to work on increasing your time with him, rather than focusing on reducing his time with the cousin. If you still can’t get anywhere on the issue, I would suggest seeing a couple’s therapist to help find a compromise.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts