Home » Ask the Therapist » Self-Harming


Asked by on with 1 answer:

From Terhan: Hi, First i have to say that I cannot speak English well so excuse me for my writing faults.
I am 24-year-old girl, I have a problem that I think is growing every day! I am so hateful. I hate myself and some people in my family and sometimes even my mom and dad and brothers. I know its bad but I do.
I am angry and so so so tired! My body has pain like after a hard montaining…when I am angry I can’t feel some part of my body like my hands and feet…sometimes my hands shaking low. I can NOT tell my parents they are so busy and my mom is sick she has blood pressure and I don’t wanna concern her.

5 or 6 times when I’ve been under deep pressure and angry I have hurt myself. I slapped in my face that made some bruises on my skin…once I scraped my hand with a knife and I feel so sorry when I see that scare…but when I hurt myself I can feel relaxed.
I can’t live the way we are living, I wish I could but I cannot…I know the reasons of my sadness but I really cannot solve these problems. I think all of that is because my family and this truth that I still living with them! I cannot be separated because our culture do not allow me as a girl! We are like Jewish, I mean family is so important to us…and i think is BAD…can u plz guide me??
thank you.


Answered by on -


Thank you for asking this important question and allowing yourself to be vulnerable in the process.

Your stress level is probably adding to the problem. I would encourage you to engage in physical activities to help you manage stress at a core level. Yoga, walking, any form of exercise would be helpful in helping you dissipate some of the excess stress and anxiety.

Secondly I would find ways to identify the feelings you’re having by being able to talk to a counselor, a member of the clergy, or close friends.

Finally, I would make sure you are physically okay and have a complete physical. Sometimes there can be underlying medical issues that can be adding to the stress.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral


Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Self-Harming. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 1, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 23 Oct 2014)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.