A: To be blunt, you can’t lose what you don’t have. She is not available right now, yet you have developed stronger feelings for her. Why wouldn’t you be having some anxiety? I don’t necessarily think it has to do with losing your mother or not knowing your father, but those issues could certainly be adding to the mix.
I think the best course of action is to let her know that you would like to have a more serious relationship with her if she is available and open to that someday, but that you are taking yourself out of the equation now. This will give her the space to clarify her feelings, and though it may hurt in the beginning, it should eventually reduce your anxiety and give you peace of mind. You won’t feel like you want something you can’t have and you won’t be so worried about another loss. Have faith that if it’s meant to work out in the long run, it will, but put your attention on other things in the present.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts