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No Feelings

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I as far as I can remember have been living life that is ideal according to my surroundings, my parents take me as ideal son, my teacher took me as ideal student, at my college my juniors and batch mates looked upon me for inspiration. I have a job, never faced any serious issues in life. I am hardworking. I have a girlfriend who loves me a lot. My parents and brother loves me a lot. My relatives gives my example to their kids but in spite all of that I am not happy, I can not feel anything. As if everything is numb, I keep on forgetting everything. I got sexually abused as a kid once but that didn’t affect me I think. I am always worried for the reasons I don’t know; my life goals are not mine. I do not love my girlfriend, who is good in every respect also I cannot focus on anything. I am always tired; I don’t want to have sex. There is no joy; even after all, of this I do not know what I want!! Help me please.

No Feelings

Answered by on -


From India: Thank you for writing about this important concern. My guess is that the early sexual abuse activated a protective reaction inside you. I recommend an individual counselor who has experience with male survivors of sexual abuse.

What often happens when we shut out feelings to protect us — the protection inhibits, and we shut down to even the good feelings. I believe therapy focused on the sexual trauma is a good place to start.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

No Feelings

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). No Feelings. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 19, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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