I as far as I can remember have been living life that is ideal according to my surroundings, my parents take me as ideal son, my teacher took me as ideal student, at my college my juniors and batch mates looked upon me for inspiration. I have a job, never faced any serious issues in life. I am hardworking. I have a girlfriend who loves me a lot. My parents and brother loves me a lot. My relatives gives my example to their kids but in spite all of that I am not happy, I can not feel anything. As if everything is numb, I keep on forgetting everything. I got sexually abused as a kid once but that didn’t affect me I think. I am always worried for the reasons I don’t know; my life goals are not mine. I do not love my girlfriend, who is good in every respect also I cannot focus on anything. I am always tired; I don’t want to have sex. There is no joy; even after all, of this I do not know what I want!! Help me please.No Feelings
From India: Thank you for writing about this important concern. My guess is that the early sexual abuse activated a protective reaction inside you. I recommend an individual counselor who has experience with male survivors of sexual abuse.
What often happens when we shut out feelings to protect us — the protection inhibits, and we shut down to even the good feelings. I believe therapy focused on the sexual trauma is a good place to start.