Today my mother threatened to throw my five-month-old kitten out. This may seem silly, but I take these things very seriously. I value animals higher than anything; they are really the only things I seriously care for (cats especially). My kitten is practically the reason I’m still here. Therefore, when she told me that, it felt like a slap in the face, and later on, I felt like the world was coming crashing down on me. I felt so guilty thinking what would happen to my kitten. The reason this all even started was cause I hadn’t cleaned the litter box yet, but I was planning to later on after I had gotten a nap in, I had very little sleep the night before. However she suddenly threatened me and I couldn’t be rational anymore. I asked her how it would feel if I threw out her dog (just asking for her to understand exactly what she was saying), and she took it as a threat and picked up a couple of sheets and I think she tried to strangle me with it… but I retaliated. Lots of screaming ensued. I don’t feel like I can talk to her anymore. In fact that was the worst fight we have ever had. In addition, if she ever did throw out my cat, I’m 100% certain that I will kill myself. I don’t value my life highly, but I do value my cat’s life. I feel like if I told her that she would just take it as a threat the way she threatened me. Just from this fight I am again realizing that I don’t want to be here anymore. Not too long ago she told me that people who attack animals are the lowest of human beings and are probably sociopaths. So i can’t see why she would do such a thing. What should i do.
I’m so sorry you’re having these kind of problems with your mom. It’s time to move out. If your mother is threatening violence to you and trying to strangle this is not the time to try and negotiate with her. If it happens again or anything even remotely close to it — call the police. Your mother’s lack of sensitivity and inability to resolve a relatively small matter does not bode well for the future of your relationship. I would highly recommend you work on doing what you need to do to move. This may mean moving in with several roommates or finding dorm space at the University. I would also recommend using the university counseling center as you transition out of your house.
Often I recommend counseling for family issues — but if your mother is trying to strangle you it is not time for counseling for the two of you — it’s time for counseling and action for you.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). My Mom Is Threatening to Throw Out My Pet. Psych Central.
Retrieved on November 19, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/10/11/my-mom-is-threatening-to-throw-out-my-pet/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 11 Oct 2014) Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.